Canadian Thanksgiving: The Ely Edition

It’s a sign that I’m getting back to a good mental place when we start having dinner parties again. There is a part of me that cares what people think, much as I try to crush this for all the insecurities it whispers, so it’s taking a lot of mental effort to ignore that the house is nowhere near the state I like it to be in when we have people over. By this I mean:        

• we may be in our thirties, but this is still a student household and so we live like the vagrant students we are – most of my nice stuff, like my wedding china or our art collection, is back in Canada.
•  as per above, and because our old student accommodation was furnished and no one outside the university will rent a furnished place to people with children, we have almost no furniture
• our flat has NO STORAGE (the only closet houses the boiler & has no extra room for anything else), and I didn’t want to invest a tonne of money into buying wardrobes and dressers, so everything is just out there. Or in boxes. And with Walter rampaging around, we live in a state of constant clutter because he helpfully rearranges all the rooms all the time.
• we live in a two bedroom flat, but David works from home & needs an office, so I have a sitting room/bedroom, and there’s no real “living room” anymore

Our lives are in a transition phase, which is why living like this works for now (and I try to keep my house-envy under control), but I feel a twinge whenever people come over, like I need explain why things are the way they are. Then I think about one of my best friends who used to host upwards of five people in her bedroom for Sunday lunch when she was a student, and how it never mattered if people were perched all over the place because the fun was that we were all together and it was always “the more the merrier”, and I think that as I’ve aged I’ve started caring a bit too much about things being materially-acceptable, and that I should just get over it. I don’t want to start caring about appearance & possessions more than I care about people.

Long preamble complete. Thesis Madness is over and Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend was the nearest holiday. We like to keep up with our Canadian holidays, so it seemed like an opportune time to invite some of our oldest British friends over: Emma & Rob. They used to live downstairs from us at St Regis, and they were the first people David really got to know when he moved here. They have been excellent friends to us over the years, even providing David with a place to stay for nearly three weeks when he had to return to Cambridge last December. 

We even spent our first UK Halloween with them -- this is at the Clare MCR Halloween Formal

 We had a lovely time. It was so nice to see grownups again! Walter and Emily behaved beautifully – there was only one time-out and minimal baby fussing. I managed to do the cooking without stressing myself out (so, so thankful I pushed myself to do all the prep the night before), David got the flat cleaned and fairly de-cluttered, and it was a warm and cozy evening. 

 

I was too busy chasing children & visiting to take a picture of the spread, so here is a picture of my ingenuity in creating a chip & dip plate from one of Walter's suction bowls & my special sandwich plate.

And besides all that stuff, Emma & Rob made an amazing pecan pie (which was nuts & chocolate in a pastry shell, so what’s not to love). They also obliged us by taking pictures of our family:

And, of course & most importantly, the things I am thankful for:

• my babies. The children may make me question my sanity on a daily basis, but they also remind me to relax, to take life as it comes even if it doesn’t follow The Plan, and to find joy in my surroundings. Besides, there is nothing like a Walter-giggle or Emily-grin to chase away any fear or gloom.
• my husband. Not only does he do amazing things (like complete his PhD on the University’s timeline requirements while also raising two babies, including full-time-parenting while I was back at work), but he understands me in all my moods, always is looking for fun things for us to do as a family, spoils me on a near-daily basis, and is the only human on the planet that my little introvert self can stand to be around 24-7.
• the roof over our heads. This time last year we had no idea where we’d be living or what we’d be doing and it is just nice to have a place to call home again.
• my family. I am thankful that I have a family whom I get along with. We don’t have fights or intrigues. I can trust my brother, which is something so easy to take for granted until you start hearing horror stories of how some siblings act. My inlaws are like a second family, which is such a blessing.
• my friends. I am so thankful that I have real, true-blue friends. Friends I can count on. Friends I can be honest with. Friends who stick by me, who don’t judge me, and who don’t use me.
• simple pleasures. I am thankful for all the little things – for long walks in the fens, for the view of a medieval cathedral from our apartment windows, for the changing seasons. Every day brings something new & beautiful if I stop worrying long enough to look for it. Although it would be nice to lose a lot of the current stress, having it just means we need to be creative in finding new ways to see happiness & joy.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving really snuck up on us this year, between all the moving and settling in to a new country. I only realised it was Thanksgiving weekend when I saw friends’ posts on Facebook!

Keeping some of the bigger Canadian holidays (Thanksgiving, Canada Day, Stanley Cup Season) is one of the ways that I try to help us retain onto our Canadian identity while living abroad. We both find it difficult to define what it is to be a Canadian, but these few things at least evoke good memories of our life back in the Great White North. Thus, Thanksgiving Dinner had to be pulled together somehow.

Between our limited budget, limited supply of ready cash (it is difficult to find places in Berlin that take credit cards), and the restrictions of what was available it was difficult to get the traditional things. Nevertheless, we managed to have a pretty good Thanksgiving Dinner. I picked up a small chicken and roasted it with garlic salt, pepper, and butter. We went heavy on the vegetable side, with roast carrots & parsnips tossed with cinnamon sugar, steamed brussel sprouts, and red cabbage. To round everything off there were roasted potatoes and gravy. It was delicious. For dessert we picked up two pieces of apple cake from a backerei and David went out and got ice cream. And of course we had some delicious German beers to wash it down with. 

It was certainly one of the simplest Thanksgiving meals I’ve ever had. Not only was the food fairly simple, it was also the only Thanksgiving that I can ever remember where we didn’t have extended family or friends around for a meal. Yet, when I looked at our comparatively simple supper, which we ate on the couch in our two-room flat, I couldn’t help but feel immensely thankful for everything that I have:

- my own little family: a wonderful husband, who is the most hard-working man I know, who always puts his family first, whose ability to believe in achieving the impossible has taken us on many adventures, and who just happens to be the love of my life. My little son, who is so brave, adventurous, and loving, who is the perfect fit for our family, and who has changed our lives (and us) for the better. Just having my boys around me for the holiday was more than enough.

Thanksgiving cuddles

 

- our little flat in Berlin. It may not be fancy, and it may not be large, but it is ours for now. At the end of the day we all have a home to come back to. If you consider that I spent most of the past year not knowing where I’d be living come October, you can appreciate how grateful I am for my home. 

working in his makeshift office

- being in Berlin! I started crying as our plan began flying over Germany, because I had never really expected to travel this far. I am often still amazed that out of all the people I know, I’m the one who lives abroad. I’m thankful for the opportunity and the experiences I’ve had.

- our families back home. It’s a blessing to have family worth missing. Their support has really meant everything this year, as it has been a particularly challenging one and it’s been good to know that we had them backing us up.

I am sure I could go on, but you get the gist. Home and family are the very heart of what I’m thankful for.